COMPLETE HOGWARTS HOUSE EVALUATION : SLYTHERIN
G e n e r a l - P e r s o n a l i t y
First, it should be pointed out that, despite the unfair reputation they are often given, Slytherins are not, in any way, naturally evil. Evil comes in many forms and that includes in the forms of all the Hogwarts houses, not just one. Slytherins are just hungry in their ambition, self-confident, and driven. They do not let emotions or obligations get in their way, because once they set goals, they fully intend to go for them, no matter what is in their path. So they don’t truly mean to hurt people when they do, they are just incredibly blunt and straightforward, a trait that can be seen as shocking to the more emotional houses. In short, Slytherins are strong and beautiful in this strength, as they hold their ground and refuse to be nothing in the world.
P o s i t i v e - & - N e g a t i v e - T r a i t s
The most positive pieces of a Slytherin are their determination and will. They are strong-minded, and you cannot take them down with your words. They can do bad all on their own, they do not need your approval or consent, therefore your opinion means nothing to them. They take pride in their accomplishments, often making new goals along with their general long-term ideals, so they are always setting rewards for themselves and making sure they feel successful in life.
Slytherins can have a roaring self-confidence, which to some can be seen as a bad thing, but really helps them in life quite often. They are powerhouses and they are good at it, which means they are great at persuasion and sweet talking their way into something that they want. This is a great trait, because it means they do not have to resolve to brute force and argument, which they have no problem with initiating either. They can cause conflict and offend others easily, though this is often not intended, they are just blunt and rather apathetic to the views of others, and do not think of what they say in this manner.
Oddly, the positive traits of a Slytherin are also their downfall. This is because they have extreme highs and lows, caused by their own doing. Others cannot put them down, but they can quickly hurt themselves, thinking of everything they have ever done wrong and suddenly thinking themselves a failure, and to some degree panicking over it. Sometimes their barriers can come down and they aren’t sure how to react to things, like a scared child, and in these times they need a friend, not to be pushed away, though during these times they may also lash out.
H o b b i e s
Any hobbies a Slytherin takes up has to be one they consider useful, because if they feel they are wasting their time, they get angry with themselves very quickly. So often they take up hobbies more so as back-up plans than enjoyment, things that if need be could be a good career along the road.
F r i e n d s h i p s
Quite often, Slytherins can go in and out of friendships, not really retaining them, because friends aren’t always part of their plans. They tend toward a few close friends, and these friends they are incredibly loyal to, and some of the people they care about most in their life. Slytherins can come off as cold and uncaring, but never underestimate the love they have for their family and friends, it is strong and relentless. They are not the type to spread rumours about you, because if they were to do something like that, they would much rather do it to strangers, not people they would rather not hurt. If a Slytherin does hurt you and they realize it, they have a hard time saying they are sorry, because apologizing to them is a sign of weakness. When they try to talk to you as much as possible and seem much more polite, it is usually a sign they are sorry for whatever it is they have done.
I n t i m a t e - R e l a t i o n s h i p s
A relationship with a Slytherin is a bit like a forest fire, hard to control and even harder to extinguish. They can be incredibly passionate when they want to be, and like to heat things up and experiment, as their sex appeal means a lot to them, even when they aren’t comfortable discussing it. Just as they can do this however, if you upset them, their emotions can go off like the flipping of a switch, and they can detach from the relationship completely, acting like they never cared about you at all. A Slytherin scorned is not something you want, as romance is just a silly game to them, one that any moment can be destroyed if you say the wrong thing.
T y p o l o g y
The average typology for a Slytherin is INTJ (Introvert-Intuitive-Thinking-Judging). This varies for everyone, of course, but by nature Slytherins are goal-oriented, very good at keeping themselves away from the feelings of others, and strong in their mindset.
A b n o r m a l - P s y c h o l o g y
Note: This section of the analysis is not diagnosis, just a common observation. Do not take it as a diagnosis, nor ask me to diagnose you. If you believe you may have a disorder of some kind and are concerned about it, please seek a professional.
Slytherins can be narcissistic at times, and generally cold to the feelings of others, instead focusing on their own needs and ideals. They can put others down this way, though it is often not as intentional as you may think it is, it simply comes as a second instinct to them to be this way. They can also be perfectionists by nature, getting incredibly frustrated and hurt when things do not go the way they expected them too. They hid their emotions so well it is almost scary, but when it comes down to it they are the second most emotional house there is, and can therefore be prone to extreme highs or lows, and at times even depression. They can be very avoidant to situations which may engage their sympathies.
R e l i g i o u s - V i e w s
Slytherins are the most agnostic in their views of all the houses. This is because they believe whatever it is they believe, but they very rarely dwell on it, and they could care less what others believe either. They are more into the general idea of the human race and how they act as a whole, rather than sides of good or evil, that does not interest them in the slightest. As they see it everyone is down a specific path, and they are along to have fun in the duration of the ride.
P o l i t i c a l - V i e w s
Some Slytherins have no interest in politics whatsoever, but those that do love debate, and are very venomous in their nature when it gets down to it. They are prone to arguing, though they will listen to what you have to say, you will rarely change their mind. Instead, you will probably often find them to be very convincing, and you may be reevaluating your own thoughts by the time they are through with you.
C a r e e r s
Common career and occupational choices among Slytherins are those that are very prestigious or those that are looked well upon, because they expect only the best for themselves. They may want to be surgeons, doctors, attorneys, or journalists. The more artistic of Slytherins may also enjoy acting, singing, or dancing.
I d e a l - E n v i r o n m e n t
The ideal environment for a Slytherin is the one in which they feel they are at the top of their game, and in which they are seeing what goes on around them. They have a deep need to be independent as well as superior, so they like to climb their way to the top of the food chain. Literally speaking, Slytherins may tend toward warmer, more humid areas.
S e l f - P e r c e p t i o n
Slytherins have two perceptions about themselves, depending on their mood. The first is that they are a fantastic, accomplished person, ready to take charge and be the best they can be. The second opinion, when they start to put themselves down or are in a low place, is that they are rude individuals who are lonely at heart.
L i f e - M i s s i o n
The mission of a Slytherin is to do what it is they do best, make their name known, and show pride in where it is they come from.
I saw this a long time ago, but I’m posting it now. A good friend was just sorted into Slytherin with me, and she was initially upset by it, automatically assuming the train of thought that all Snakes are inherently evil. This is to show her the basic personality breakdown. I’ve italicized the portions that are particularly of interest to me.
GPOY: Slytherin Pride
GPOY- Just finished knitting my Slytherin scarf edition.
Now I can be warm, stylish, and rep my house properly.
Walk of Shame - Not Literally
(Slytherin parody of Sound of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel)
087. Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
Slytherin? Fuck making this sweet love you speak of. We’re gonna hate-fuck until the sun rises.
Slytherin is the natural house of a Scorpio, the combination of the Snake and the Scorpion making for a venomous combination. Slytherin Scorpios are filled with ambition in all parts of their life, and they are perfectionists. If you don’t fit their mold, they don’t want you around, and they have no problem pointing out faults. It’s not that they are trying to be cruel, they are simply incredibly blunt, and if you have a problem with that then they rightly don’t care. They have a plan, and that is all they are concerned about, so if you are a kink in their world they will iron you out before you can blink. This makes relationships of any kind very rare for Slytherin Scorpios, but if you do befriend them then they are incredibly loyal to you and wouldn’t sell you out for anything.
Attention Slytherins (and anyone else into HP fandom)
We R Slytherins - Ke$ha Parody
I desperately need this on my blog.
Please watch and appreciate.
I would apologize for all the Slytherin spam of late…
But then I think to myself, “Fuck that. I’ll post what I want.” and I move on with my life. You don’t like it, gtfo.
I probably won’t nail this shit like Kate, because she is like the avenging angel of Slytherin, but…
Yeah. We’re cunning and devious and we’re comfortable in the shadows and the morally grey in a way that no other House is, but she’d right. We tell you that. We own up to all that we do, good and bad, and it’s who we are, and in that I believe we’re far more honest about ourselves than most people have the courage to be.
And we are loyal- to those who’ve proven that they’re worth our loyalty and love. We don’t grant respect to everyone automatically. You have to earn it, and earn our trust, and no, we don’t think all opinions are valid and no, we don’t walk away from fights and no, we aren’t Nice People.
But we’re true to ourselves, gods be damned, and our ambition and our drive to get what we want makes us fucking survivors.
As I’ve said before, only a true Slytherin could have done what Snape did for Dumbledore all those years. No one else would have the resiliency and the adaptability to do it. No one. So you can talk big about how big and brave the Gryffindors are or how loyal and willing to fight the Hufflepuffs are or how clever the Ravenclaws are…
But when you need hands dirty and blood spilled and someone to bear it all and keep moving with their head high, without expecting the trumpets and cheers and love of everyone, knowing that what they do they’ll be doing alone and without support, when you need someone who can lie to keep you safe, when you need someone with the strength to play the game of wills that few are willing to stoop to play, you come to us, because we’re the only ones that can do it, and we do it beautifully.
That’s the thing I love about Slytherin loyalty. Slytherin loyalty for loyalty’s sake, not glory. It’s not pretty, its done in blood. It may be messy, it may be ugly, but its pure.
AND I’M PROUD TO BE A SLYTHERIN, WHERE AT LEAST I KNOW I’M FREE. AND I WON’T FORGET THE WAY YOU LIED WHEN YOU STABBED THAT KNIFE IN ME. I’LL GLADLY STAND UP NEXT TO YOU AND POISON YOU TODAY ‘CAUSE THERE AIN’T NO DOUBT I LOVE THIS HOUSE